I took the leap and decided that we had to be where Quin was (knowing that he's a workaholic and I've been around a few farmers in my day so I know their schedules - or lack thereof). It's been really great for the boys. They love being by the cows and they've got to watch us pull a couple of calves. They love that they can go hang out with dad once in a while. The only thing that is driving me really crazy (besides no grocery store nearby) is the fact that my Rigby house isn't even ready to sell yet. I've tried to go over with the little men a couple times and that just ends up AWFUL ~ I have to get it done, it's killing me to pay my mortgage month after month when I don't even get to live there. I think that it will break my heart to put the rest of my furniture and piano and BOOKS and whatnot in storage. That just seems so final. I went by yesterday and my tulips are all wanting to bloom and my grass is starting to green up and my irises are tall and straight. My 100 trees are looking good and I miss the fact that I had a bigger house and beautiful yard. I know that I can make this pretty outside, but it's not permanant, so really how much energy do I want to put in it.
I miss my old friends, I miss getting together with them. I miss seeing my husband (yes we've started planting grain now) I'll see him next Nov. again :) I just feel rather melancholy about the whole deal. I miss my yard, my flowers, my trees. I spent SO much energy in the last 3 years laying sod and planting bulbs and flowers. Maybe I just moved to much when I was growing up -- I just am tired by it! I wish I was closer to my sister Em, and that sweet baby Paisley, they were just down the road before. I am having such a hard time with all the drama out here. You forget (a little anyway) how much goes on -- with all the crap with Quin's family that happened the last year it's really hard to be out here. Dang I need to "toughen up a hair" as my poetic husband would say :). I just had to vent to someone. Lucky bloggers, you get to hear it. Sorry, I'll stuff it all back in, it won't happen again.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008